By : @TheSaucyMartian ™
Most women lean into their femininity when they feel safe enough to do so. An unfortunate default (when they don’t feel comfortable metaphorically “letting their hair down”) is to tap into external strength and to exude more masculine energy as a result.
People like to say a multitude of things about these women that is muting or destructive commentary.
However, the true way to remedy the discord is to focus on understanding her better.
Be HER peace for a change.
Instead of another problem on top of an already stacked plate of problems in which she’s expected to figure out the solution…again…often times alone.
She is a fierce and focused force of nature–don’t praise her when it benefits you and punish her for when it doesn’t.
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Match Her Focus AND Her Energy
A strong woman is a focused woman. She’s sure of herself and knows what she wants and usually knows how to get it. She applies the same focus and drive she has for her business life as she does for her personal life.
To accomplish the kind of goals and plans that she has for herself, she expects to be with someone who is consistently on the same page about what is happening in the relationship and where the relationship is headed.
So dealing with “on again” and then “off again” situations are not going to hold her interest very long.
Even in the anomaly, in which love outweighs her usual instincts, when she goes back to her original default it will be a cauterized separation.
No need to try to “circle the block” she won’t be standing where you left her.
Be straightforward about how you feel about her, and be consistent about those feelings.
Her interest is in building with someone, so it is important that you match her focus on the relationship, and her energy toward prioritizing the relationship.
With Her It’s SHOW over TELL
Don’t make promises that you can’t keep or have no intention of keeping. This goes for big and small promises. Word is bond when you are speaking to her.
When you become a person whose words she can’t trust to be true, you will start to lose the trust she has in you as a person overall. That then starts to crumble the trust she has in the success of the relationship overall.
It’s not a dramatic domino effect.
A person’s word is strongly linked to reinforcing the commitment that is had for the relationship.
It is also heavily tied into the honor, honesty, and respect that is a requirement in any relationship, but DEFINITELY one involving a strong woman.
So be true to your word, and if you find yourself not being able to keep your word, help her understand why in the short term. But in the long term, start committing to your word and not OVER selling and under-delivering what you can do for your woman.
Be Honest (More Specifically FORTHCOMING)
Many don’t know the difference between the two so let me first explain that part.
- Honest : Asked the right question and providing an answer absent of lies
- FORTHCOMING : No need to ask a lot of questions because information is provided in advance
More often than not, the reason a strong woman is so strong is because of the buttery bullshyt that has slid in and out of her life at some point or another.
Therefore, her tolerance for bullshyt is going to be low.
Her bullshyt meter, on the other hand, is going to be high.
Don’t waste her time making her peel back the onion on details. You need to understand that she expects clarity and details in advance.
And for the ones who think you’re clever. That you will be “forthcoming” with PARTIAL details, to keep any possible drama down.
That is actually going to piss her off more than just providing all the details.
She wants clarity, and understanding about any situation that involves her significant other. Don’t try to be slick. Be forthcoming, AS WELL as answer any questions with honesty.
Don’t let her “Spidey Senses” tingle and tell her first, that will put you on a fast track to losing her and all the value that she brings to your life.
When you compare what you lose by not being honest and forthcoming, versus what you would gain; if you’re a genius you will see the logic in “keeping it 100.”
She’s not nosy, she is your partner and she wants to be kept in the loop as she does, and would do for you.
Accept That She Doesn’t Need You…But That She Also Needs You
As contradicting as that sounds. It is absolutely true.
Love is about two people growing in love, not because they need to, but because they want to grow in love together. The bond that they have nurtured has become an important and significant part of their lives and so they treat it with the respect and loyalty and focused attention doused in love because it is a desire that they both deserve, and are happy to extend to one another.
And that is beautiful, so don’t be insecure about her strength because of personal hang ups about gender roles. A strong woman, also known as an alpha woman, is perfectly capable of having an alpha man if that man can be at peace with her strength.
THE BONUS is that if you pour the loyalty, respect, honesty, and love that she requires into the relationship, then you will find that she can be submissive without losing the edge of strength that attracted you to her in the first place.
But that is an EARNED expression that demands mutual respect.
If she can’t trust and be confident in her man, who he is to her, and what he brings to the table when she IS the table, then she will consider love bonding a luxury she can do without.
So move wisely, gentlemen.
She’s Not Just Talking To Hear The Sound Of Her Voice
A major reason that she expects her man’s word to be true, is because hers is true.
She says what she means and she means what she says.
There are many types of women out there who just say things because they sound good; who lie to make things sound better; who deflect by turning attention to others (ie gossiping, etc).
But a strong woman is a direct woman.
She is assertive. However, push the wrong buttons and you will catch her aggression.
But a passive-aggressive person she is not. So if she is saying something pay attention.
AND PLEASE NOTE : Once she gets to the place where she’s saying less, check in with your own behavior within the relationship.
If she’s getting tired of repeating herself, and not addressing things that bothered her before. Don’t think you’ve finally “won” or “changed her” to suit your needs.
When this happens you are losing all the unfiltered love she was prepared to give openly and freely because of her love for you. So when she gets to this point, you are actually on the path to losing her all together unless she can see some significant changes.
In the mind of a strong woman, repeating herself is too much like having to beg. So don’t get cocky and eff around lose out on the love that can add to you in ways you never imagined because you signed up for strong but can only handle women who are meek.
A strong woman is a gift that few people know how to accept and cherish. She’s not all strength and masculine-esque energy unless she has to be.
Just like any woman she wants to be loved, cared for, protected, prioritized and shown that she is important enough to be loyal to and be respected.
If you give her a reason to lean into her feminine energy…
If you give her a reason to be comfortable and safe within the vulnerability of the love that you are building with her; then she will put her strength and energy into seeing that BOTH of you SURPASS your wildest dreams.
But understand if you want her to be MAJOR, then don’t come through peddling MEDIOCRITY.
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